


symphonies → phan

by swankyfem



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Bulimia, Cuddling, Dan Howell - Freeform, Eating Disorder Recovery, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Recovery, anorexic dan howell, bulimic phil lester, dan is a dick, eventual smut probs, its fluffier than it sounds i promise, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 20:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swankyfem/pseuds/swankyfem
Summary: in which dan utterly despises phil, an all too chipper nuisance in an inpatient home for teens with eating disorders.





	symphonies → phan

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorders!!!!! please do not read this if you are triggered by/sensitive to explicit mentions of anorexia, bulimia, binging, purging, restricting or anything of the sort!!! stay safe friends xoxo
> 
> i am in NO WAY encouraging, recommending or supporting any sort of self destructive behavior!!!!!! eating disorders are SERIOUS illnesses that ruin lives ok thank u
> 
> with that, i hope you all enjoy this (-: this will be my first fic i have written in years,, so please leave me a comment w ur thoughts!!!

ONE / MOONLIGHT SONATA

the moment that dan was faced with phil lester, he immediately detested the boy.

it was during a free moment that the two met, one that dan often relished in due to their seldom occurrence. he had not yet re-earned a pass to go out, though rather enjoyed moments in which the home’s population was sparse. he could play the piano without the prominently lingering fear of judgement. 

however, leah, the sprightly chipper director of the residential, must have also taken advantage of it’s rather underwhelming vacancy to introduce a new client. he’d been left to his own devices after a brisk tour, perhaps to claim a bed, or meet the peers that weren’t at the cinema for eating dessert. in fact, this only included two teens at the moment, giving dan only a matter of time before beethoven’s moonlight sonata was reluctantly cut off by a hurried knock at his bedroom’s door.

“come in,” he murmured quietly with disinterest, fingers idly laid across the keys of an ikea keyboard. it was the one condition that dan proposed before agreeing to attempt inpatient again— to have access to a piano.

the door was pressed forward slowly with a low creak, revealing the tacit newcomer. dan could recall the news of his arrival announced during friday’s group session, though the exact time was unknown to residents until the moment itself. it was as if he’d appeared on a whim.

“hello.” the boy rasped nervously, his act of introduction obviously forced. his awkwardness was unsettling, something that dan immediately viewed with disdain. upon first seeing this newfound peer, he’d hastily decided that the boy was not worth his time.

if dan was not meeting this boy at an eating disorder treatment, he would never guess the two sharing anything in common.

he was rather tall like dan, dark hair brushed neatly into a polished quiff unlike his own unkempt mop of messy curls. his blue eyes could only be described as striking, somewhat overwhelmingly bright with curiosity and innocence. dan hated it. he could already sense an annoying niceness radiating from him, one that didn’t belong in such a gloomy atmosphere.

upon not receiving any further response, the stranger continued. “i’m phil.” he offered up lamely, the statement hung in the air like an unwanted guest.

dan blinked.

in contrast to his bleak, dorm-like bedroom, phil was rather conspicuous, sporting colors and patterns that, frankly, made his counterpart feel sick.

he wore black trousers like his own, designedly clung to legs rather average in size, a sight not often seen in such a place. his thighs were parted slightly, though didn’t compare to dan’s own ghastly thigh gap.

he wore a white tee shirt expressing a bright polaroid logo, hung rather loosely from his slight frame. dan would admit that it was quite bold to wear a tee shirt on his first day, though quickly realized that a flashy bomber jacket concealed the majority of his figure. he was a walking spotlight, and dan restented such an attention seeking nature.

phil shifted his weight from one foot to the other, awaiting a response with astonishing patience.

why couldn’t he just leave him alone?

“dan.” a posh voice reluctantly answered, dark eyes drifting from phil’s obnoxiously loud red vans to the keyboard in front of him. if he just started playing, would he go away?

“i’m new here.”

“i know.”

“you play the piano?” phil inquired with the polite tug of a smile, leaning against the black painted inner doorway, to which dan cringed,

he shrugged shyly, never wanting to admit his so-called ‘girly’ passion. his spindly fingers swiftly left the keys, instead working to roll his sleeves down and push his hoodie away from highlighting his gaunt torso.

dan hated this not only because of the fact that phil was utterly annoying, but simply because he hated meeting new people.

he didn’t want anyone to look at him, smile pitifully or notice the weight he’s gained regardless of it being rather invisible to the naked eye. he wanted nobody to see his hair thinning, the extra kilo on his belly or his broken nails. his cheeks felt quite pudgy today— he kept his hoodie’s hood up.

although he did not give a single fuck about phil, he wanted anything but the boy to notice his horrendus appearance.

a piano does not have eyes, was the thing. it also did not have red vans or a too-kind smile.

phil’s voice drew him back to the present.  
he lifted up a tightly packed duffle bag, one that dan hadn’t noticed was in his grasp. “do you know of any beds that i could choose?”

“yes.” it was true— quite a few were left unoccupied, though it was a bit hard to tell with teenage belongings scattered about every bedroom.

“could you show them to me?”

dan considered for a moment.

“no.”

a pause.

“okay.” 

with that, phil was gone.

moonlight sonata resumed.


End file.
